Wednesday, December 10, 2008

I'm done asking

What's up with us women? No matter how strong, how independent, how clear minded we normally are- we get into the confines of our child filled homes and turn into cowering first graders. We ask for permission to do everything.

Is it alright if I take a shower? Can you watch the insane-destructo-toddler-bot while I go to the bathroom? Is it alright if I run to the store to get us things for dinner? Is it alright if I make dinner now? Can I vacuum? We're going to have chicken for lunch, is that alright? And even once granted permission, we buzz around like Stepford Wives on speed like we're trying to break the world record for dish washing. And I wonder what's up with that?

Men aren't like that--they want to go to the store, they go to the store. They want to take a random nap- they just lie down or sit down somewhere and fall asleep. They want to take a dump-and it's adios for the next half an hour. Men talk in the declarative- "I am going to go work outside." Women talk in the interrogative, "Would it be alright if I go fold laundry?" Men don't even think twice about it. On the freak occasions where women boldly wander into statement territory, they are racked with guilt- "Am I being selfish?""Am I being neglectful in some way?" "Am I scarring my children irreparably?"

Is this hardwired programming within us women? Is there some unseen pheromone interaction which causes this? Is this something else to take to counseling which has been handed down to us from our mothers, to whom it was handed down by their mothers? Is it an evolutionary advantage of some kind?

Well, I've got to say, I've had it. I am sick of asking permission for every cotton picking detail of my life, even and possibly most especially, for things which are service to others, to those from whom I am requesting permission. No more, I say! I will shower when I want. I will make whatever I please for any meal. I will visit the potty whenever and for how ever long I want. If I am sleepy and there's another adult around, I am going to take a nap. When I need to go to the store I am going to go. I will clean whatever and wherever I feel like it. I will boldly venture into the land of the that okay??


  1. BWAHHHH! YES! I do not remember the last time I just laid down on the sofa with the intention of just falling asleep. Yet I watch my husband do it all the time! I always worry about what else needs doing (that is more important than sleep), and even if I do decide that the priority is to have a nap, I have to make sure everyone is accounted for and taken care of before I can rest. SIGH.

  2. And I so don't mean it as a men-bashing thing, and I know you don't mean it that way either---it just absolutely fascinates me that this happens; fascinates and mystifies.

  3. Thanks so much for visiting my's nice to find someone who can appreciate a good old movie or two!

    I must agree, I Confess, is fabulous!